9.12.2004
Chechens are Gay
In light of the recent tragic events in Beslan, I have nothing to say except that the Chechens are gay. Really.
Who the fuck is their PR person? Killing kids - bad idea. You are not going to win any friends or converts to your cause. I used to defend the Chechen cause, even at risk of alienating some Russian friends, but they have lost me forever recently. And the Al Qaeda and extremism was only exacerbated by Putin and Moscow's war and creation of a power vacuum in the region. America faces the same dillema: terrorist movements that originated in response to policy (Russia's hegemony over Chechnia and America's presence in the holy land) have been supplanted by fundamentalist, extremist, dogmatist and ideological terrorism. The Chechen problem is not going to go away - especially if Moscow reacts by kidnapping Chechens and Ingush in response to the kidnapping of Osettians and Russians (as they did last week). The simple solution - as posited by some Russians in opinion polls - of either "send them all to Siberia," "bomb the shit out of them" or "kill 'em all" really do not apply, especially considering the near-complete decimation of Grozny already. I have been following this region for years - for both academic and personal reasons - and have been getting updates from RFE/RL every week since 1997. And after all this reading on the area, the only response I have is "They're Fucked Up Down There."
Here's my Lermontovian analysis of the Chechen character, as formulated from an experience I had once in Russia:
My roommate Volodia and I would host many all night card games and drunken sessions in our dorm room at Jaroslavl State University. Usually it would be a bunch of guys over, once in a while someone would bring over some hooker or vodka-slut (of which I never partook). Strange and sketchy people were always stopping by our room at all hours of the night. We had friends on the black market, and it was not unusual for someone to pull out a gun and wave it around. One night this Chechen guy (who was in Volodia's class) showed up and we all got drunk on a huge bottle of Rum. I usually was the firstg to pass out and go to sleep, ignoring the shenanigans in the room. The Chechen dude was bragging on how the Chechens run everything in Russia - "We are even more successful than the Jews," He also said that you can tell a Chechen walking down the streets from his eyebrows. (Sort of like Armenians, I guess). Turns out that that night the Chechen tried to snuggle with Volodia and got all kissy on him. Of course Volodia was too drunk to realize (either that or he secretly wanted it!). Anyway, Volodia got ribbed for that one for weeks. "Hey Volodia, is our Chechen friend coming over? Maybe you should get him some flowers!" So, Chechens are gay.
In light of the recent tragic events in Beslan, I have nothing to say except that the Chechens are gay. Really.
Who the fuck is their PR person? Killing kids - bad idea. You are not going to win any friends or converts to your cause. I used to defend the Chechen cause, even at risk of alienating some Russian friends, but they have lost me forever recently. And the Al Qaeda and extremism was only exacerbated by Putin and Moscow's war and creation of a power vacuum in the region. America faces the same dillema: terrorist movements that originated in response to policy (Russia's hegemony over Chechnia and America's presence in the holy land) have been supplanted by fundamentalist, extremist, dogmatist and ideological terrorism. The Chechen problem is not going to go away - especially if Moscow reacts by kidnapping Chechens and Ingush in response to the kidnapping of Osettians and Russians (as they did last week). The simple solution - as posited by some Russians in opinion polls - of either "send them all to Siberia," "bomb the shit out of them" or "kill 'em all" really do not apply, especially considering the near-complete decimation of Grozny already. I have been following this region for years - for both academic and personal reasons - and have been getting updates from RFE/RL every week since 1997. And after all this reading on the area, the only response I have is "They're Fucked Up Down There."
Here's my Lermontovian analysis of the Chechen character, as formulated from an experience I had once in Russia:
My roommate Volodia and I would host many all night card games and drunken sessions in our dorm room at Jaroslavl State University. Usually it would be a bunch of guys over, once in a while someone would bring over some hooker or vodka-slut (of which I never partook). Strange and sketchy people were always stopping by our room at all hours of the night. We had friends on the black market, and it was not unusual for someone to pull out a gun and wave it around. One night this Chechen guy (who was in Volodia's class) showed up and we all got drunk on a huge bottle of Rum. I usually was the firstg to pass out and go to sleep, ignoring the shenanigans in the room. The Chechen dude was bragging on how the Chechens run everything in Russia - "We are even more successful than the Jews," He also said that you can tell a Chechen walking down the streets from his eyebrows. (Sort of like Armenians, I guess). Turns out that that night the Chechen tried to snuggle with Volodia and got all kissy on him. Of course Volodia was too drunk to realize (either that or he secretly wanted it!). Anyway, Volodia got ribbed for that one for weeks. "Hey Volodia, is our Chechen friend coming over? Maybe you should get him some flowers!" So, Chechens are gay.
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