9.27.2004
I'm Fucking Warped
I played what I thought was a clever and hilarious practical joke on my wife this week. Every day for a couple of days I would shave off about 1/8 to a 1/4 inch of hair from my hairline on top (my burgeoning widow's peak). I would then leave the clumps of hair all over the bathroom. At first the wife didn't say anything. I would then spend lots of time in front of the mirror fretting, holding my hair back, acting all agitated.
"What;s the matter?" she would ask.
"Nothing, I don't want to talk about it."
"Are you going bald?"
"I don't want to talk about it. You're a nurse, do you know if it could all happen real quicklike, in a week maybe?"
"Are you okay."
"I think it's the stress of the move and the kids. Maybe it's because it's been a while between intimacies."
"Omigod! I am so sorry!"
As you can guess, she was very very nice to me for a couple of days. She was also really worried, and even suggested I take her prenatal vitamins she had left over.
She, of course, started inspecting my hairline,
"Hey, it looks like it's growing back."
"Improbable."
"Seriously, looks more like a five o clock shadow."
"What are you talking about. I'm going bald."
"Hey! You've been shaving your head! You're crazy!"
Anyway, she actually thought it was real funny. I was going to keep on doing it until I had a Larry Fine, and then send a picture to everybody, just to see if anybody would bring it up. I've given up on that, instead I just pushed my bangs forward.
I played what I thought was a clever and hilarious practical joke on my wife this week. Every day for a couple of days I would shave off about 1/8 to a 1/4 inch of hair from my hairline on top (my burgeoning widow's peak). I would then leave the clumps of hair all over the bathroom. At first the wife didn't say anything. I would then spend lots of time in front of the mirror fretting, holding my hair back, acting all agitated.
"What;s the matter?" she would ask.
"Nothing, I don't want to talk about it."
"Are you going bald?"
"I don't want to talk about it. You're a nurse, do you know if it could all happen real quicklike, in a week maybe?"
"Are you okay."
"I think it's the stress of the move and the kids. Maybe it's because it's been a while between intimacies."
"Omigod! I am so sorry!"
As you can guess, she was very very nice to me for a couple of days. She was also really worried, and even suggested I take her prenatal vitamins she had left over.
She, of course, started inspecting my hairline,
"Hey, it looks like it's growing back."
"Improbable."
"Seriously, looks more like a five o clock shadow."
"What are you talking about. I'm going bald."
"Hey! You've been shaving your head! You're crazy!"
Anyway, she actually thought it was real funny. I was going to keep on doing it until I had a Larry Fine, and then send a picture to everybody, just to see if anybody would bring it up. I've given up on that, instead I just pushed my bangs forward.
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