10.08.2004
Elmo's Coloring Book
One of the perils of modern-day parenting is the annual Sesame Street Live touring show that appears at your local arena, playhouse, etc. Nowadays it is no longer limited to the Sesame Street gang, which I can at least relate to, I was wearing Elmo paraphenalia years before I had kids. Now there are all the children's logorific commercial tie-ins to deal with: Disney On Ice, Dora The Explorer Stage Show, Arthur, etc. Last year it was The Wiggles. We, of course took our daughter, who was only 1 and a half at the time and probably doesn't remember it. This year we went to see Elmo's Coloring Book at the Centrum in Worcester, which is another in a long list of shitty Massachusetts cities that should just give it up and relocate the entire population and destroy the buildings. But that's another rant, this one is about the ridicoulous Sesame Street Live show. I did not mind the whole dancing and singing colored mopheads. I am actually quite fond of Muppets, I could name them all before Margot and Lucie came along. I was actually kind of upset that Snufalupagus did not make an appearance. And some of the Muppets I can't stand, two of which were in this show: The Count and Baby Bear. Baby Bear is the worst Muppet since the misjudged introduction of Placido Flamingo and Meryl Sheep. What probably annoys me most about Baby Bear is that he 'tawks' like I did as a child. While those with speech impediments like me could probably relate to the said ursine muppet, and which was probably the idea when they created this creature by committee, I can't help but resent the depiction. It must be akin to how asians feel about seeing Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's.
To get back to Elmo's Coloring Book. the problem I had with the whole show was the premise and the framing device (which is my main gripe about seventy percent of the things I watch). I did not buy the introduction of the character "Dr. Colour" (or some such crap) who was a world-famous color scientist with a machine that adds color to things. It was stupid and insulting. I don't need a half-assed plot to enjoy Sesame Street Live. Just have a bunch of dance school dropouts jump around on stage in furry costumes and I'm happy. Don't bother me with a ridiculous plot about a polar bear who steals color from Oscar (what the fuck?). And there was this annoying bit of dialogue:
Elmo: "Professor, you're a genius!"
Prof.: "That's what they say!"
And then there was the asshole arguing with his wife behind us (like all assholes in this area he was wearing a Red Sox hat). Here is a real-life snippet of that argument:
"Where'd your parents go?"
"They went home to watch the debate."
"Cheapasses."
"What the Hell does that mean? How does that make them cheapasses?"
One of the perils of modern-day parenting is the annual Sesame Street Live touring show that appears at your local arena, playhouse, etc. Nowadays it is no longer limited to the Sesame Street gang, which I can at least relate to, I was wearing Elmo paraphenalia years before I had kids. Now there are all the children's logorific commercial tie-ins to deal with: Disney On Ice, Dora The Explorer Stage Show, Arthur, etc. Last year it was The Wiggles. We, of course took our daughter, who was only 1 and a half at the time and probably doesn't remember it. This year we went to see Elmo's Coloring Book at the Centrum in Worcester, which is another in a long list of shitty Massachusetts cities that should just give it up and relocate the entire population and destroy the buildings. But that's another rant, this one is about the ridicoulous Sesame Street Live show. I did not mind the whole dancing and singing colored mopheads. I am actually quite fond of Muppets, I could name them all before Margot and Lucie came along. I was actually kind of upset that Snufalupagus did not make an appearance. And some of the Muppets I can't stand, two of which were in this show: The Count and Baby Bear. Baby Bear is the worst Muppet since the misjudged introduction of Placido Flamingo and Meryl Sheep. What probably annoys me most about Baby Bear is that he 'tawks' like I did as a child. While those with speech impediments like me could probably relate to the said ursine muppet, and which was probably the idea when they created this creature by committee, I can't help but resent the depiction. It must be akin to how asians feel about seeing Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's.
To get back to Elmo's Coloring Book. the problem I had with the whole show was the premise and the framing device (which is my main gripe about seventy percent of the things I watch). I did not buy the introduction of the character "Dr. Colour" (or some such crap) who was a world-famous color scientist with a machine that adds color to things. It was stupid and insulting. I don't need a half-assed plot to enjoy Sesame Street Live. Just have a bunch of dance school dropouts jump around on stage in furry costumes and I'm happy. Don't bother me with a ridiculous plot about a polar bear who steals color from Oscar (what the fuck?). And there was this annoying bit of dialogue:
Elmo: "Professor, you're a genius!"
Prof.: "That's what they say!"
And then there was the asshole arguing with his wife behind us (like all assholes in this area he was wearing a Red Sox hat). Here is a real-life snippet of that argument:
"Where'd your parents go?"
"They went home to watch the debate."
"Cheapasses."
"What the Hell does that mean? How does that make them cheapasses?"
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