10.13.2004
I had a whole bunch of ideas to write about this week, but I forget them at the moment!
Oh yeah, I wanted to write about the Topsfield Fair. Have you ever been to county fair or a state fair? What a fucking mess of humanity. Too many people, too many Turkey Legs and Cotton candies, and too much ugly cleavage.
Here is a list of the kinds of people who you will see at the fair:
1. Ugly people. We are talking teeth deformities, smushed up noses, hairlips, Def Leppard Hair, unfortunate tattoos and facial piercings.
2. The Morbidly Obese. Some of them in carts.
3. Strange Fashion. I like to point out oddly and provocatively dressed women and men to my wife. My favorite was the frilly green skirt with sude fuck me boots and an Aeropostale sweatshirt (which was very popular at this years fair among those who were inclined to wear sweatshirts). I also say "bouncy bouncy bouncy" under my breath whenever a woman with huge cleavage walks by (much to my wife's delight). Lots of watermelons on downhill races at the fair.
4. Young mothers blowing cigarette smoke into their kids strollers. I even think I saw a woman smoking with a baby in a frontpack. I hate smokers, but I especially hate people who smoke around their kids.
5. Carnies.
I went to the B'Nai Birth of Lowell food stand (who knew?). I got a knish, and I was very happy to find a knish. I had found a grocery store around here that sells decent bialys, but I haven't had a knish in, like, forever. However, this was unlike any knish I ever had, it had beef and onions in it and was doughy and shit. It was basically a Jewish empinada. Not like the potato knishes you get on the street in New York. They also had fried twinkies, and I had bet my wife a dollar that I would find fried twinkies there. However, they just threw a frozen twinkie into the fryer - no batter, no stick or anything. It was tasty, but could have been done better. Later, when i was standing on line for some potato twists, one of the girls who was working the B'Nai Birth booth was behind me and ordered the twists with BACON! I guess pareve laws don't hold at fairs or in Lowell!
Oh yeah, I wanted to write about the Topsfield Fair. Have you ever been to county fair or a state fair? What a fucking mess of humanity. Too many people, too many Turkey Legs and Cotton candies, and too much ugly cleavage.
Here is a list of the kinds of people who you will see at the fair:
1. Ugly people. We are talking teeth deformities, smushed up noses, hairlips, Def Leppard Hair, unfortunate tattoos and facial piercings.
2. The Morbidly Obese. Some of them in carts.
3. Strange Fashion. I like to point out oddly and provocatively dressed women and men to my wife. My favorite was the frilly green skirt with sude fuck me boots and an Aeropostale sweatshirt (which was very popular at this years fair among those who were inclined to wear sweatshirts). I also say "bouncy bouncy bouncy" under my breath whenever a woman with huge cleavage walks by (much to my wife's delight). Lots of watermelons on downhill races at the fair.
4. Young mothers blowing cigarette smoke into their kids strollers. I even think I saw a woman smoking with a baby in a frontpack. I hate smokers, but I especially hate people who smoke around their kids.
5. Carnies.
I went to the B'Nai Birth of Lowell food stand (who knew?). I got a knish, and I was very happy to find a knish. I had found a grocery store around here that sells decent bialys, but I haven't had a knish in, like, forever. However, this was unlike any knish I ever had, it had beef and onions in it and was doughy and shit. It was basically a Jewish empinada. Not like the potato knishes you get on the street in New York. They also had fried twinkies, and I had bet my wife a dollar that I would find fried twinkies there. However, they just threw a frozen twinkie into the fryer - no batter, no stick or anything. It was tasty, but could have been done better. Later, when i was standing on line for some potato twists, one of the girls who was working the B'Nai Birth booth was behind me and ordered the twists with BACON! I guess pareve laws don't hold at fairs or in Lowell!
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