11.14.2004
I put my latest post through the Dialectizer, set on Jive:
11.6.2004
Stupid Doodads ah' Gots Eaten
As regular sufferers uh my blog may already know, ah' likes t'keep many ridiculous lists in mah' haid. Dis list be of stupid doodads ah' have put in mah' moud, and da damn side effects, dig dis:
1. Pine Nuts - It took me dree times t'realize dat ah' wuz allergic t'pine nuts and dey would make me drow down. ah' would sit dere poppin' pine nuts into mah' moud, and den two hours lata' drowin' down in de prep stashun. "Whut de Fuck dun did ya' eat, Chris?" "I duzn't know, so cut me some slack, Jack."
2. Bea' Battered Hamburga' - Once ah' dipped some 9 oz hamburga' patty into bea' batta' and deep fried it. Man! ah' put some cayenne mayonaise, lettuce, tomatoes, hot sauce, onion and da damn greasy humongous fried patty onto some roll and fed da bud it. Man! De batta' cooked down much fasta' dan de burga' itself, makin' it probably de bloodiest mess ah' have eva' et. Man! Afta' eatin' it ah' had t'sit waaay down fo' some few minutes t'let it settle. There, but ah' wouldn't reccommend it fo' de lighdearted.
3. Once Big Raz'tus wuz cleanin' de grey parts off uh some stasht tips. ah' dought he wuz slicin' an already cooked piece uh meat, so's I reach in and grab some piece and pop it in mah' moud. "You's idiot, Chris! Right on! Dat wuz raw baaaad meat! Right on! Ha ha! Right on!" ah' wuz queesy most uh de night. Man!
4. Hot Win's uh Dead - Once fo' some party ah' made hot win' sauce out uh vinegar and about twenty habanero peppuh's. ah' pureed da damn peppuh' and let da damn win's soak in de pepppuh'-vinegar-honey mix overnight. Man! Den ah' served dem t'my homeys.
5. Little Triangle Doodads Dey Wuz Sellin' By de Side uh de Road in Kazakhstan. 'S coo', bro. Dey wuz delicious empinada type doodads wid potato in dem. WORD! In Yaroslavl ah' would feed da bud about six pierozhki fo' lunch every day till de lady who ran de stand told me dat ah' had enough. Lop some boogie. One night on de train t'Ashkhabaaaad ah' ate twenty uh dese doodads. Which leads me t'item #6.
6. Train Vodka - Dis Turkmen dude wuz smokin' pot wid mah' cabinmate Arseny and collectin' booze dat wuz runnin' off de roof uh de train. 'S coo', bro. Little dun did ah' know whut he intended t'do wid dis booze. He cut da damn booze wid grain alcohol and made cribmade train vodka. WORD! ah' drank about 200 milliliters uh dat stuff. De next day ah' shat mah' underwear and had t'drow it out da damn train window into de Karakum desert. Man! ah' stepped off de train at da damn stop in Charzhou, looked around, some projectile vomited all upside de platfo'm. WORD! "Welcome t'Turkmenia! Right on!"
// posted by Christopha' Franz @ 11/6/2004 (0) comments
11.6.2004
Stupid Doodads ah' Gots Eaten
As regular sufferers uh my blog may already know, ah' likes t'keep many ridiculous lists in mah' haid. Dis list be of stupid doodads ah' have put in mah' moud, and da damn side effects, dig dis:
1. Pine Nuts - It took me dree times t'realize dat ah' wuz allergic t'pine nuts and dey would make me drow down. ah' would sit dere poppin' pine nuts into mah' moud, and den two hours lata' drowin' down in de prep stashun. "Whut de Fuck dun did ya' eat, Chris?" "I duzn't know, so cut me some slack, Jack."
2. Bea' Battered Hamburga' - Once ah' dipped some 9 oz hamburga' patty into bea' batta' and deep fried it. Man! ah' put some cayenne mayonaise, lettuce, tomatoes, hot sauce, onion and da damn greasy humongous fried patty onto some roll and fed da bud it. Man! De batta' cooked down much fasta' dan de burga' itself, makin' it probably de bloodiest mess ah' have eva' et. Man! Afta' eatin' it ah' had t'sit waaay down fo' some few minutes t'let it settle. There, but ah' wouldn't reccommend it fo' de lighdearted.
3. Once Big Raz'tus wuz cleanin' de grey parts off uh some stasht tips. ah' dought he wuz slicin' an already cooked piece uh meat, so's I reach in and grab some piece and pop it in mah' moud. "You's idiot, Chris! Right on! Dat wuz raw baaaad meat! Right on! Ha ha! Right on!" ah' wuz queesy most uh de night. Man!
4. Hot Win's uh Dead - Once fo' some party ah' made hot win' sauce out uh vinegar and about twenty habanero peppuh's. ah' pureed da damn peppuh' and let da damn win's soak in de pepppuh'-vinegar-honey mix overnight. Man! Den ah' served dem t'my homeys.
5. Little Triangle Doodads Dey Wuz Sellin' By de Side uh de Road in Kazakhstan. 'S coo', bro. Dey wuz delicious empinada type doodads wid potato in dem. WORD! In Yaroslavl ah' would feed da bud about six pierozhki fo' lunch every day till de lady who ran de stand told me dat ah' had enough. Lop some boogie. One night on de train t'Ashkhabaaaad ah' ate twenty uh dese doodads. Which leads me t'item #6.
6. Train Vodka - Dis Turkmen dude wuz smokin' pot wid mah' cabinmate Arseny and collectin' booze dat wuz runnin' off de roof uh de train. 'S coo', bro. Little dun did ah' know whut he intended t'do wid dis booze. He cut da damn booze wid grain alcohol and made cribmade train vodka. WORD! ah' drank about 200 milliliters uh dat stuff. De next day ah' shat mah' underwear and had t'drow it out da damn train window into de Karakum desert. Man! ah' stepped off de train at da damn stop in Charzhou, looked around, some projectile vomited all upside de platfo'm. WORD! "Welcome t'Turkmenia! Right on!"
// posted by Christopha' Franz @ 11/6/2004 (0) comments
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