11.06.2004
Stupid Things I Have Eaten
As regular sufferers of my blog may already know, I like to keep many ridiculous lists in my head. This list is of stupid things I have put in my mouth, and the side effects:
1. Pine Nuts - It took me three times to realize that I was allergic to pine nuts and they would make me throw up. I would sit there popping pine nuts into my mouth, and then two hours later throwing up in the prep station. "What the Fuck did you eat, Chris?" "I don't know."
2. Beer Battered Hamburger - Once I dipped a 9 oz hamburger patty into beer batter and deep fried it. I put some cayenne mayonaise, lettuce, tomatoes, hot sauce, onion and the greasy humongous fried patty onto a roll and ate it. The batter cooked up much faster than the burger itself, making it probably the bloodiest mess I have ever et. After eating it I had to sit down for a few minutes to let it settle. Pretty good, but I wouldn't reccommend it for the lighthearted.
3. Once Big John was cleaning the grey parts off of some filet tips. I thought he was slicing an already cooked piece of meat, so I reach in and grab a piece and pop it in my mouth. "You idiot, Chris! That was raw bad meat! Ha ha!" I was queesy most of the night.
4. Hot Wings of Death - Once for a party I made hot wing sauce out of vinegar and about twenty habanero peppers. I pureed the pepper and let the wings soak in the peppper-vinegar-honey mix overnight. Then I served them to my friends.
5. Little Triangle Things They Were Selling By the Side of the Road in Kazakhstan. They were delicious empinada type things with potato in them. In Yaroslavl I would eat about six pierozhki for lunch every day till the lady who ran the stand told me that I had enough. One night on the train to Ashkhabad I ate twenty of these things. Which leads me to item #6.
6. Train Vodka - This Turkmen guy was smoking pot with my cabinmate Arseny and collecting water that was running off the roof of the train. Little did I know what he intended to do with this water. He cut the water with grain alcohol and made homemade train vodka. I drank about 200 milliliters of that stuff. The next day I shat my underwear and had to throw it out the train window into the Karakum desert. I stepped off the train at the stop in Charzhou, looked around, a projectile vomited all over the platform. "Welcome to Turkmenia!"
As regular sufferers of my blog may already know, I like to keep many ridiculous lists in my head. This list is of stupid things I have put in my mouth, and the side effects:
1. Pine Nuts - It took me three times to realize that I was allergic to pine nuts and they would make me throw up. I would sit there popping pine nuts into my mouth, and then two hours later throwing up in the prep station. "What the Fuck did you eat, Chris?" "I don't know."
2. Beer Battered Hamburger - Once I dipped a 9 oz hamburger patty into beer batter and deep fried it. I put some cayenne mayonaise, lettuce, tomatoes, hot sauce, onion and the greasy humongous fried patty onto a roll and ate it. The batter cooked up much faster than the burger itself, making it probably the bloodiest mess I have ever et. After eating it I had to sit down for a few minutes to let it settle. Pretty good, but I wouldn't reccommend it for the lighthearted.
3. Once Big John was cleaning the grey parts off of some filet tips. I thought he was slicing an already cooked piece of meat, so I reach in and grab a piece and pop it in my mouth. "You idiot, Chris! That was raw bad meat! Ha ha!" I was queesy most of the night.
4. Hot Wings of Death - Once for a party I made hot wing sauce out of vinegar and about twenty habanero peppers. I pureed the pepper and let the wings soak in the peppper-vinegar-honey mix overnight. Then I served them to my friends.
5. Little Triangle Things They Were Selling By the Side of the Road in Kazakhstan. They were delicious empinada type things with potato in them. In Yaroslavl I would eat about six pierozhki for lunch every day till the lady who ran the stand told me that I had enough. One night on the train to Ashkhabad I ate twenty of these things. Which leads me to item #6.
6. Train Vodka - This Turkmen guy was smoking pot with my cabinmate Arseny and collecting water that was running off the roof of the train. Little did I know what he intended to do with this water. He cut the water with grain alcohol and made homemade train vodka. I drank about 200 milliliters of that stuff. The next day I shat my underwear and had to throw it out the train window into the Karakum desert. I stepped off the train at the stop in Charzhou, looked around, a projectile vomited all over the platform. "Welcome to Turkmenia!"
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