1.29.2004
My friend Chris Hackett is in the hospital with a wired jaw. He was working on a confetti gun when something blew up. The New York City antiterrorism unit showed up - turns out he had a bunch of illegal gunpowder (for his performance art as a member of the Madagascar Institute art collective). He's in the hospital now and facing charges.
Hack! is a friend from my childhood who lives the life you wish you led. He is an artist who blows things up, builds neat contraptions, and has fun happenings.
He is facing mounting medical and legal bills, donate money at http://www.madagascarinstitute.com/ to help him with these challenges.
Story about Chris Hackett's thirteenth birthday: He had a hunting party for his birthday. I showed up in full cammo, a Rambo knife, and about forty sharpened sticks stuck in my belt. I had issues. Someone brought a slinshot, someone else a bb gun, and Chris had a bow and arrow. We went out hunting. We shot frogs down at the industrial waste pond down the street from Chris's house, and then stuck firecrackers up their arses to see how high they would jump. (Again, we had issues). Then we shot a dove off of a highwire, skinned it and cooked it up over a fire. ( I had the foresight to bring my boy scout cooking set). Hack and I, I believe, are the only ones to the dove. Later that night I vomited, but that might have been from the Arthur Treacher's I had after the party. Later on we saw that Hackett's neighbors the Antonucci's were getting their septic tank cleaned. So we started shooting (bows, slingshots, bbs) at the Septic Tank Truck. I believe that Mr. Antonucci was out in the yard at the time, and he heard the shots going over his head and into his siding. He wasn't pleased. He chased us around the yard yelling that he would kill us all. Mr. Hackett suggested that someone go over and apologize. They elected me as the representative. I brought Andrew Tumolo along with me. "I'm sorry we were shooting at the woods, Mr. Antonucci." "I saw an arrow go over me head! I'll break both your legs." "No, really, we were just shooting at squirrels in the woods." "I'll break your legs! You were shooting at me!" Andrew fell to the ground laughing, which did not help. The rest of the party we just played with Chris's commodore 64.
Hack! is a friend from my childhood who lives the life you wish you led. He is an artist who blows things up, builds neat contraptions, and has fun happenings.
He is facing mounting medical and legal bills, donate money at http://www.madagascarinstitute.com/ to help him with these challenges.
Story about Chris Hackett's thirteenth birthday: He had a hunting party for his birthday. I showed up in full cammo, a Rambo knife, and about forty sharpened sticks stuck in my belt. I had issues. Someone brought a slinshot, someone else a bb gun, and Chris had a bow and arrow. We went out hunting. We shot frogs down at the industrial waste pond down the street from Chris's house, and then stuck firecrackers up their arses to see how high they would jump. (Again, we had issues). Then we shot a dove off of a highwire, skinned it and cooked it up over a fire. ( I had the foresight to bring my boy scout cooking set). Hack and I, I believe, are the only ones to the dove. Later that night I vomited, but that might have been from the Arthur Treacher's I had after the party. Later on we saw that Hackett's neighbors the Antonucci's were getting their septic tank cleaned. So we started shooting (bows, slingshots, bbs) at the Septic Tank Truck. I believe that Mr. Antonucci was out in the yard at the time, and he heard the shots going over his head and into his siding. He wasn't pleased. He chased us around the yard yelling that he would kill us all. Mr. Hackett suggested that someone go over and apologize. They elected me as the representative. I brought Andrew Tumolo along with me. "I'm sorry we were shooting at the woods, Mr. Antonucci." "I saw an arrow go over me head! I'll break both your legs." "No, really, we were just shooting at squirrels in the woods." "I'll break your legs! You were shooting at me!" Andrew fell to the ground laughing, which did not help. The rest of the party we just played with Chris's commodore 64.
1.19.2004
I had a most disturbing experience today. This afternoon I found some racist pamphlets in my driveway. It was your typical anti-Interracial Dating, Jews run the media, there are homos in our streets type of crap. I was goddamn shaking mad. They had gotten my neighbor's house as well. I do not want this shit in my neighborhood, and not where my daughter can pick it up. I agree with Woody Allen when he said that the best way to deal with a Nazi is with a baseball bat.
I called the newspaper. I called Channel 29. I registered a hate log on the ADL website. I will not put up with this shit lightly. These assholes might think they pulled one over on my neighbors and me, but they do not realize that I am smarter, more eloquent, louder and more determined in my beliefs than they.
I called the newspaper. I called Channel 29. I registered a hate log on the ADL website. I will not put up with this shit lightly. These assholes might think they pulled one over on my neighbors and me, but they do not realize that I am smarter, more eloquent, louder and more determined in my beliefs than they.
1.18.2004
Annoying people at work this week:
1) Old & Decrepit Nick - he had to be driven home on Friday because he was either drunk, sick or old and demented. He was waiting for me inside the restaurant at nine in the morning to get his keys back. Then he asked for a beer. I sent the old fuck home.
2) The old lady who hid the broken santa came back in. This week her kid took twenty dollars off of a table. Then he hit me in the butt.
3) Some stupid rednecks came in when we were extremely busy. They got all bitchy and called me snippy and made the waitress cry. I shouldn't say rednecks, they are people with necks of colour.
Last week I had the worst diarrhea of my life, at least since that time on the train in Uzbekistan where I threw my underwear out the window into the desert. I actually had droppage onto my bathroom floor. I seriously lost seven pound over the weekend. I was scared I would shit all over my wife in bed, she's a nurse and used to that sort of stuff, but she shouldn't have to deal with it at home.
Book Review: Hermann Bausinger: Folk Culture in a World of Technology. - I read this for my dissertation, and was it dry and german and redundant. The introduction by Dan Ben-Amos was better than the book itself. I like Bausinger's ideas, and they are central to my diss (rough draft finished this week!), but damn is he boring.
Paraphrase from the Atlantic monthly article on President Bush's preparation for his vendetta against Saddam Hussein: "The president has already spent an hour on humanitarian issues." Nuff said.
1) Old & Decrepit Nick - he had to be driven home on Friday because he was either drunk, sick or old and demented. He was waiting for me inside the restaurant at nine in the morning to get his keys back. Then he asked for a beer. I sent the old fuck home.
2) The old lady who hid the broken santa came back in. This week her kid took twenty dollars off of a table. Then he hit me in the butt.
3) Some stupid rednecks came in when we were extremely busy. They got all bitchy and called me snippy and made the waitress cry. I shouldn't say rednecks, they are people with necks of colour.
Last week I had the worst diarrhea of my life, at least since that time on the train in Uzbekistan where I threw my underwear out the window into the desert. I actually had droppage onto my bathroom floor. I seriously lost seven pound over the weekend. I was scared I would shit all over my wife in bed, she's a nurse and used to that sort of stuff, but she shouldn't have to deal with it at home.
Book Review: Hermann Bausinger: Folk Culture in a World of Technology. - I read this for my dissertation, and was it dry and german and redundant. The introduction by Dan Ben-Amos was better than the book itself. I like Bausinger's ideas, and they are central to my diss (rough draft finished this week!), but damn is he boring.
Paraphrase from the Atlantic monthly article on President Bush's preparation for his vendetta against Saddam Hussein: "The president has already spent an hour on humanitarian issues." Nuff said.
1.04.2004
Okay, I admit it. I married Britney Spears. I'd do it again.
Had a severe fever this week, and my beautiful daughter had a bad case of the throwups this morning. We are a sickly nation.
QUEST FOR PIZZA: This week's quest for pizza brings us to Sylvia's on the downtown mall. We had four slices between the three of us: Thai Chicken, Shrimp Scampi, Cheese and Spinach. The crust was heavenly. The caramelized onions on the scampi was too much for my pallette, though. All they need to do is carry the Black Bean, Avacado and Feta pizza they have on their Corner restaurant and I will be there every day.
BOOK REVIEWS:
1) Stupid White Men - Michael Moore. I should have read this last year. God, I hate the president. Moore is a loudmouthed jerk, and that's what makes him marvelous.
2) Lies: And the Lying Liars Who Tell Them - Al Franken. I just had to read this after reading Moore's book. (Besides it *was* on my Amazon wishlist, from which I received NOTHING this Christmas. Thank you very much, supposed loved ones). Last year I caughtmy mother-in-law reading that blasted Anne Coulter book, so I had to remedy that somehow. Al is a smartass, and a persistent one at that. As he says, we'll just beat the liars by being truthful, smarter and better looking.
Damn, this fever is giving me the shakes. Quick, sahib, bring me more Quinine.
POLITICAL RANT: I will go to my grave denying the legitimacy of the Bush presidency. The constitution was raped by Scalia, Thomas, and the other gangbangers on the Supreme Court. The American people were raped, and I do not think we should lie back and enjoy it. I will not get over it, it is not ancient history. [I am done ranting]
Restaurant Review: Went to the Twisted Branch Tea Shop for lunch on friday. There were other little kids there to run around with my beloved boogermaker Margot. I could drink Roibos tea everyday.
Here's our dillemma for the next few weeks (aside from finding a babysitter for Wednesday or finishing my dissertation first draft by Feb. 1) - Baby Names for the new baby due on Mar. 25 - My wife poopooed all of my suggestions: Girl names: Mattingly, Sherbrooke, Melanie, Lucyanne. Boys: Abdelrahman, Jaroslav, Deaghlan. Any suggestions? email me
Annoying People of the Week:
1) Fat Luis in the kitchen. Not just lazy, but a drugdealer. And a mama's boy.
2) Chatty McChatChat at the bar tonight. Shut up, girl, please.
Had a severe fever this week, and my beautiful daughter had a bad case of the throwups this morning. We are a sickly nation.
QUEST FOR PIZZA: This week's quest for pizza brings us to Sylvia's on the downtown mall. We had four slices between the three of us: Thai Chicken, Shrimp Scampi, Cheese and Spinach. The crust was heavenly. The caramelized onions on the scampi was too much for my pallette, though. All they need to do is carry the Black Bean, Avacado and Feta pizza they have on their Corner restaurant and I will be there every day.
BOOK REVIEWS:
1) Stupid White Men - Michael Moore. I should have read this last year. God, I hate the president. Moore is a loudmouthed jerk, and that's what makes him marvelous.
2) Lies: And the Lying Liars Who Tell Them - Al Franken. I just had to read this after reading Moore's book. (Besides it *was* on my Amazon wishlist, from which I received NOTHING this Christmas. Thank you very much, supposed loved ones). Last year I caughtmy mother-in-law reading that blasted Anne Coulter book, so I had to remedy that somehow. Al is a smartass, and a persistent one at that. As he says, we'll just beat the liars by being truthful, smarter and better looking.
Damn, this fever is giving me the shakes. Quick, sahib, bring me more Quinine.
POLITICAL RANT: I will go to my grave denying the legitimacy of the Bush presidency. The constitution was raped by Scalia, Thomas, and the other gangbangers on the Supreme Court. The American people were raped, and I do not think we should lie back and enjoy it. I will not get over it, it is not ancient history. [I am done ranting]
Restaurant Review: Went to the Twisted Branch Tea Shop for lunch on friday. There were other little kids there to run around with my beloved boogermaker Margot. I could drink Roibos tea everyday.
Here's our dillemma for the next few weeks (aside from finding a babysitter for Wednesday or finishing my dissertation first draft by Feb. 1) - Baby Names for the new baby due on Mar. 25 - My wife poopooed all of my suggestions: Girl names: Mattingly, Sherbrooke, Melanie, Lucyanne. Boys: Abdelrahman, Jaroslav, Deaghlan. Any suggestions? email me
Annoying People of the Week:
1) Fat Luis in the kitchen. Not just lazy, but a drugdealer. And a mama's boy.
2) Chatty McChatChat at the bar tonight. Shut up, girl, please.
