9.29.2004
Electric Babies
Margot, the two-year old, decided to unscrew the lightbulb out of her lamp and stick her finger in the light socket. She did this while she was suppossed to be napping. She starts screaming, I come running upstairs, she's sobbing and the lamp is lying on the floor. She's doing all right, but she was scared shitless. I held her for a few minutes and she calmed down. Just saying the word 'light' in front of her all day yesterday was enough to send her into hysterics.
We have warned her that snakes live in the plug sockets and will bite her if she touches them. I guess she needed to find out for herself. Today she told the speech therapist: "Snake hurt dodo finger (Snake hurt my finger, she calls herself Dodo). I'm amazed that with everything she has done - fallen down the stairs repeteadly, gotten her head stuck in a banister, pouring hot coffee down her shirt, jumping off of her tricycle, leaping off of chairs - that she hasn't killed herself yet. I do feel, however, that her IQ must drop ten points each time she bangs her head. I just hope nobody from social services takes her away because of all the bruises. It's hard to explain to strangers that you have a klutzy daughter.
Margot, the two-year old, decided to unscrew the lightbulb out of her lamp and stick her finger in the light socket. She did this while she was suppossed to be napping. She starts screaming, I come running upstairs, she's sobbing and the lamp is lying on the floor. She's doing all right, but she was scared shitless. I held her for a few minutes and she calmed down. Just saying the word 'light' in front of her all day yesterday was enough to send her into hysterics.
We have warned her that snakes live in the plug sockets and will bite her if she touches them. I guess she needed to find out for herself. Today she told the speech therapist: "Snake hurt dodo finger (Snake hurt my finger, she calls herself Dodo). I'm amazed that with everything she has done - fallen down the stairs repeteadly, gotten her head stuck in a banister, pouring hot coffee down her shirt, jumping off of her tricycle, leaping off of chairs - that she hasn't killed herself yet. I do feel, however, that her IQ must drop ten points each time she bangs her head. I just hope nobody from social services takes her away because of all the bruises. It's hard to explain to strangers that you have a klutzy daughter.
9.27.2004
I'm Fucking Warped
I played what I thought was a clever and hilarious practical joke on my wife this week. Every day for a couple of days I would shave off about 1/8 to a 1/4 inch of hair from my hairline on top (my burgeoning widow's peak). I would then leave the clumps of hair all over the bathroom. At first the wife didn't say anything. I would then spend lots of time in front of the mirror fretting, holding my hair back, acting all agitated.
"What;s the matter?" she would ask.
"Nothing, I don't want to talk about it."
"Are you going bald?"
"I don't want to talk about it. You're a nurse, do you know if it could all happen real quicklike, in a week maybe?"
"Are you okay."
"I think it's the stress of the move and the kids. Maybe it's because it's been a while between intimacies."
"Omigod! I am so sorry!"
As you can guess, she was very very nice to me for a couple of days. She was also really worried, and even suggested I take her prenatal vitamins she had left over.
She, of course, started inspecting my hairline,
"Hey, it looks like it's growing back."
"Improbable."
"Seriously, looks more like a five o clock shadow."
"What are you talking about. I'm going bald."
"Hey! You've been shaving your head! You're crazy!"
Anyway, she actually thought it was real funny. I was going to keep on doing it until I had a Larry Fine, and then send a picture to everybody, just to see if anybody would bring it up. I've given up on that, instead I just pushed my bangs forward.
I played what I thought was a clever and hilarious practical joke on my wife this week. Every day for a couple of days I would shave off about 1/8 to a 1/4 inch of hair from my hairline on top (my burgeoning widow's peak). I would then leave the clumps of hair all over the bathroom. At first the wife didn't say anything. I would then spend lots of time in front of the mirror fretting, holding my hair back, acting all agitated.
"What;s the matter?" she would ask.
"Nothing, I don't want to talk about it."
"Are you going bald?"
"I don't want to talk about it. You're a nurse, do you know if it could all happen real quicklike, in a week maybe?"
"Are you okay."
"I think it's the stress of the move and the kids. Maybe it's because it's been a while between intimacies."
"Omigod! I am so sorry!"
As you can guess, she was very very nice to me for a couple of days. She was also really worried, and even suggested I take her prenatal vitamins she had left over.
She, of course, started inspecting my hairline,
"Hey, it looks like it's growing back."
"Improbable."
"Seriously, looks more like a five o clock shadow."
"What are you talking about. I'm going bald."
"Hey! You've been shaving your head! You're crazy!"
Anyway, she actually thought it was real funny. I was going to keep on doing it until I had a Larry Fine, and then send a picture to everybody, just to see if anybody would bring it up. I've given up on that, instead I just pushed my bangs forward.
Good Old Leftism
To let you know what sort of good old leftist I am - I am currently listening to Woody Guthrie singing anti-war songs and union songs and nodding my head in agreement.
Today I walked past a solitary gentleman standing in front of the TGIFriday's on Newbury Street in Downtown Boston who was wearing a sign that said "TGIFriday's Unfair - No Health Care." I had previously seen picketers in front of the TGIFriday's (I hope I never have to type TGIFriday's every again) in Dedham, and tried to look up what they were picketing. Now I know. Not that I'd ever walk into a restaurant of such high caliber, but I'd never cross a picket line. My dad was union and he taught me well.
To let you know what sort of good old leftist I am - I am currently listening to Woody Guthrie singing anti-war songs and union songs and nodding my head in agreement.
Today I walked past a solitary gentleman standing in front of the TGIFriday's on Newbury Street in Downtown Boston who was wearing a sign that said "TGIFriday's Unfair - No Health Care." I had previously seen picketers in front of the TGIFriday's (I hope I never have to type TGIFriday's every again) in Dedham, and tried to look up what they were picketing. Now I know. Not that I'd ever walk into a restaurant of such high caliber, but I'd never cross a picket line. My dad was union and he taught me well.
9.23.2004
Cat Stevens is a Douche
Yusuf Islam, nee Cat Stevens, nee something else, is a douche. He is a douche not because he is a convert to Islam. Heck, when I was in Turkmenia I became awful close to being a convert to Islam (couldn't get over my damn atheism, though). He is a douche because he rejoindered the Ayatollah Khomeini's fatwa against Salman Rushdie. Cat Stevens is a holier-than-thou Muslim who has aligned himself with bad elements (the blind sheikh, Hamas). I'm not sure I even want him flying into the US myself!
When John Walker Lindh was training in Yemen, they had a nickname for him: Yusuf Islam. They both have the know-it-all attitude of the convert - the same problem affecting all the damn born-again Christians in the states - that they represent the true path, etc. Cat Stevens is a joke, and a discredit to what I consider a great religious tradition.
BTW: the soundtrack to Harold and Maude still rocks, though!
Yusuf Islam, nee Cat Stevens, nee something else, is a douche. He is a douche not because he is a convert to Islam. Heck, when I was in Turkmenia I became awful close to being a convert to Islam (couldn't get over my damn atheism, though). He is a douche because he rejoindered the Ayatollah Khomeini's fatwa against Salman Rushdie. Cat Stevens is a holier-than-thou Muslim who has aligned himself with bad elements (the blind sheikh, Hamas). I'm not sure I even want him flying into the US myself!
When John Walker Lindh was training in Yemen, they had a nickname for him: Yusuf Islam. They both have the know-it-all attitude of the convert - the same problem affecting all the damn born-again Christians in the states - that they represent the true path, etc. Cat Stevens is a joke, and a discredit to what I consider a great religious tradition.
BTW: the soundtrack to Harold and Maude still rocks, though!
Name This Film
Can you name the film in which the following snippet of dialogue is extracted: "What is that African language you know, dear?" "Tuareg."
Actually, don't bother. It's from Hidalgo. Fifteen minutes into the film my wife says, "How much longer?" "Two hours," I replied.
An hour later, after much eye-rolling, my lovely wife said, "This is the last time I listen to people at work."
"These are the same people who said The Da Vinci Code was brilliant," I reminded her.
Can you name the film in which the following snippet of dialogue is extracted: "What is that African language you know, dear?" "Tuareg."
Actually, don't bother. It's from Hidalgo. Fifteen minutes into the film my wife says, "How much longer?" "Two hours," I replied.
An hour later, after much eye-rolling, my lovely wife said, "This is the last time I listen to people at work."
"These are the same people who said The Da Vinci Code was brilliant," I reminded her.
9.22.2004
Developmental Hurdles of a Two Year Old
My poor two year old daughter has been having some developmental issues. She is already seeing a speech therapist for her language problems. She sometimes will throw fits when no one understands her. It can be frustrating for all involved. I feel sorry for her. She has started going to a play group for children with developmental problems, and I can recognize some of the problem signs in her. She seems to be in a world of her own sometimes. She's not as bad as an autistic child, but there are definitely some areas that need help. When I saw her in the play group the first time I teared up, because I am such a sentimental sap. As her father, I want to be able to alleviate any problem she may have, but I know that I am really do not have the proper training to help her with this. From listening to my mother, I know that I went through many of the same problems as a child - especially with communication and frustration. I even feel these same problems manifesting themselves in my adult life. I hope we can nip this in the bud early, because there were times in my childhood when I was a real head case. I don't wish that on my daughter, especially considering that I adore her in every conceivable way.
My poor two year old daughter has been having some developmental issues. She is already seeing a speech therapist for her language problems. She sometimes will throw fits when no one understands her. It can be frustrating for all involved. I feel sorry for her. She has started going to a play group for children with developmental problems, and I can recognize some of the problem signs in her. She seems to be in a world of her own sometimes. She's not as bad as an autistic child, but there are definitely some areas that need help. When I saw her in the play group the first time I teared up, because I am such a sentimental sap. As her father, I want to be able to alleviate any problem she may have, but I know that I am really do not have the proper training to help her with this. From listening to my mother, I know that I went through many of the same problems as a child - especially with communication and frustration. I even feel these same problems manifesting themselves in my adult life. I hope we can nip this in the bud early, because there were times in my childhood when I was a real head case. I don't wish that on my daughter, especially considering that I adore her in every conceivable way.
I'm a Paid Writer!
It's not much to brag on, but I recently sold an article on bike riding in Boston for fifteen dollars to an undisclosed website. Hey, it's a start!
It's not much to brag on, but I recently sold an article on bike riding in Boston for fifteen dollars to an undisclosed website. Hey, it's a start!
9.16.2004
Early Morning Baby Drills
Seems like the six-month-old Lucienne has decided that six o'clock in the morning is a good time to roll around on the floor and just grab things and giggle. It is overbearingly cute and all, but dagnabbit, daddy's tired. Right now she is trying to sit up and pet her older sister's plastic bouncy horsey. She can get up on all fours, look around, but not really be able to propel herself forward. She has also discovered that she can make a lot of noise by kicking the ground. She does an alternating leg kick, which is unlike the kick her sister developed at that age - which was a double kick-lift your hips up off the ground triple boom.
Seems like the six-month-old Lucienne has decided that six o'clock in the morning is a good time to roll around on the floor and just grab things and giggle. It is overbearingly cute and all, but dagnabbit, daddy's tired. Right now she is trying to sit up and pet her older sister's plastic bouncy horsey. She can get up on all fours, look around, but not really be able to propel herself forward. She has also discovered that she can make a lot of noise by kicking the ground. She does an alternating leg kick, which is unlike the kick her sister developed at that age - which was a double kick-lift your hips up off the ground triple boom.
9.12.2004
Chechens are Gay
In light of the recent tragic events in Beslan, I have nothing to say except that the Chechens are gay. Really.
Who the fuck is their PR person? Killing kids - bad idea. You are not going to win any friends or converts to your cause. I used to defend the Chechen cause, even at risk of alienating some Russian friends, but they have lost me forever recently. And the Al Qaeda and extremism was only exacerbated by Putin and Moscow's war and creation of a power vacuum in the region. America faces the same dillema: terrorist movements that originated in response to policy (Russia's hegemony over Chechnia and America's presence in the holy land) have been supplanted by fundamentalist, extremist, dogmatist and ideological terrorism. The Chechen problem is not going to go away - especially if Moscow reacts by kidnapping Chechens and Ingush in response to the kidnapping of Osettians and Russians (as they did last week). The simple solution - as posited by some Russians in opinion polls - of either "send them all to Siberia," "bomb the shit out of them" or "kill 'em all" really do not apply, especially considering the near-complete decimation of Grozny already. I have been following this region for years - for both academic and personal reasons - and have been getting updates from RFE/RL every week since 1997. And after all this reading on the area, the only response I have is "They're Fucked Up Down There."
Here's my Lermontovian analysis of the Chechen character, as formulated from an experience I had once in Russia:
My roommate Volodia and I would host many all night card games and drunken sessions in our dorm room at Jaroslavl State University. Usually it would be a bunch of guys over, once in a while someone would bring over some hooker or vodka-slut (of which I never partook). Strange and sketchy people were always stopping by our room at all hours of the night. We had friends on the black market, and it was not unusual for someone to pull out a gun and wave it around. One night this Chechen guy (who was in Volodia's class) showed up and we all got drunk on a huge bottle of Rum. I usually was the firstg to pass out and go to sleep, ignoring the shenanigans in the room. The Chechen dude was bragging on how the Chechens run everything in Russia - "We are even more successful than the Jews," He also said that you can tell a Chechen walking down the streets from his eyebrows. (Sort of like Armenians, I guess). Turns out that that night the Chechen tried to snuggle with Volodia and got all kissy on him. Of course Volodia was too drunk to realize (either that or he secretly wanted it!). Anyway, Volodia got ribbed for that one for weeks. "Hey Volodia, is our Chechen friend coming over? Maybe you should get him some flowers!" So, Chechens are gay.
In light of the recent tragic events in Beslan, I have nothing to say except that the Chechens are gay. Really.
Who the fuck is their PR person? Killing kids - bad idea. You are not going to win any friends or converts to your cause. I used to defend the Chechen cause, even at risk of alienating some Russian friends, but they have lost me forever recently. And the Al Qaeda and extremism was only exacerbated by Putin and Moscow's war and creation of a power vacuum in the region. America faces the same dillema: terrorist movements that originated in response to policy (Russia's hegemony over Chechnia and America's presence in the holy land) have been supplanted by fundamentalist, extremist, dogmatist and ideological terrorism. The Chechen problem is not going to go away - especially if Moscow reacts by kidnapping Chechens and Ingush in response to the kidnapping of Osettians and Russians (as they did last week). The simple solution - as posited by some Russians in opinion polls - of either "send them all to Siberia," "bomb the shit out of them" or "kill 'em all" really do not apply, especially considering the near-complete decimation of Grozny already. I have been following this region for years - for both academic and personal reasons - and have been getting updates from RFE/RL every week since 1997. And after all this reading on the area, the only response I have is "They're Fucked Up Down There."
Here's my Lermontovian analysis of the Chechen character, as formulated from an experience I had once in Russia:
My roommate Volodia and I would host many all night card games and drunken sessions in our dorm room at Jaroslavl State University. Usually it would be a bunch of guys over, once in a while someone would bring over some hooker or vodka-slut (of which I never partook). Strange and sketchy people were always stopping by our room at all hours of the night. We had friends on the black market, and it was not unusual for someone to pull out a gun and wave it around. One night this Chechen guy (who was in Volodia's class) showed up and we all got drunk on a huge bottle of Rum. I usually was the firstg to pass out and go to sleep, ignoring the shenanigans in the room. The Chechen dude was bragging on how the Chechens run everything in Russia - "We are even more successful than the Jews," He also said that you can tell a Chechen walking down the streets from his eyebrows. (Sort of like Armenians, I guess). Turns out that that night the Chechen tried to snuggle with Volodia and got all kissy on him. Of course Volodia was too drunk to realize (either that or he secretly wanted it!). Anyway, Volodia got ribbed for that one for weeks. "Hey Volodia, is our Chechen friend coming over? Maybe you should get him some flowers!" So, Chechens are gay.
On the Turntable
Amazing Grace - Aretha Franklin; Schumann: Sonatas for Violin and Piano - Ara Malikian and Serouj Kradjian;Crossroads (Disc 1) - Eric Clapton; Genius & Soul: The 50th Anniversary Collection (Disc 3) - Ray Charles; Switched On Boxed Set (Disc 1 & 4) - Wendy Carlos (nee William Carlos); Istoriia Akvariuma: Arkhiv Tom III- Akvarium; The Funk Box (Disc 1); Driving Rain - Paul McCartney; Low - David Bowie; Sound + Vision Plus - David Bowie; Greatest Hits - Bjork; Buzzcocks - Buzzcocks; Kentucky Mountain Music Disc 1;Timeless Dhrupads; The Essential Leonard Cohen (Disc 2); Books - Belle and Sebastian; Dear Catastrophe Waitress - Belle and Sebastian; London Calling - The Clash; Soultrane - John Coltrane; Blonde on Blonde - Bob Dylan
What's the point in my listing the albums I'm listening to this week. Is it to prove that I have impeccable taste in music and that my taste far surpasses your's in both breadth and quality. Perhaps.
Actually, it is because I have long argued that life deserves a soundtrack, and that by supplying these titles I am supplying the soundtrack to my life and to my blog.
Amazing Grace - Aretha Franklin; Schumann: Sonatas for Violin and Piano - Ara Malikian and Serouj Kradjian;Crossroads (Disc 1) - Eric Clapton; Genius & Soul: The 50th Anniversary Collection (Disc 3) - Ray Charles; Switched On Boxed Set (Disc 1 & 4) - Wendy Carlos (nee William Carlos); Istoriia Akvariuma: Arkhiv Tom III- Akvarium; The Funk Box (Disc 1); Driving Rain - Paul McCartney; Low - David Bowie; Sound + Vision Plus - David Bowie; Greatest Hits - Bjork; Buzzcocks - Buzzcocks; Kentucky Mountain Music Disc 1;Timeless Dhrupads; The Essential Leonard Cohen (Disc 2); Books - Belle and Sebastian; Dear Catastrophe Waitress - Belle and Sebastian; London Calling - The Clash; Soultrane - John Coltrane; Blonde on Blonde - Bob Dylan
What's the point in my listing the albums I'm listening to this week. Is it to prove that I have impeccable taste in music and that my taste far surpasses your's in both breadth and quality. Perhaps.
Actually, it is because I have long argued that life deserves a soundtrack, and that by supplying these titles I am supplying the soundtrack to my life and to my blog.
9.08.2004
Great EBay Find
I have found a Belle and Sebastian poster for when they played the Hammersmith Odeon in New York on the day Margot was born. Definitely one for the dining room. The wife and I had tickets to see them play in DC for around Margot's due date. The way things turned out, the concert was nine days after Margot's birth. Being an asshole, I went to the concert anyway, taking Nevsky with me instead. It was an awesome show. We meet up with my friend Dr. Leah. Of course there was a mad rush for the stage, but this being DAR Constitution Hall, we were sent back to our seats. I did buy my wife a T-Shirt.
I have found a Belle and Sebastian poster for when they played the Hammersmith Odeon in New York on the day Margot was born. Definitely one for the dining room. The wife and I had tickets to see them play in DC for around Margot's due date. The way things turned out, the concert was nine days after Margot's birth. Being an asshole, I went to the concert anyway, taking Nevsky with me instead. It was an awesome show. We meet up with my friend Dr. Leah. Of course there was a mad rush for the stage, but this being DAR Constitution Hall, we were sent back to our seats. I did buy my wife a T-Shirt.
Lucienne, at six months, had developed the highly annoying tendency of screaming and crying when not being held and walking around. For a while there she could entertain herself in her swing, or on her activity playmat, or in her bouncy-bouncy, but now she has to either be in the frontpack or in my arms - which can get in the way of everyday chores like dishes or playing Literati on Yahoo Games.
Combine this with Margot refusing to take her afternoon naps and you get a very grumpy daddy. The only way to get them to sleep is to go on long car drives, which gives me agita because 1) I hate driving; 2) there is only so much of MetroWest Boston to see; and 3) the whole fossil-fuel thing (even though I get around 30+ miles per gallon in me old Saturn. I make an awful Stepford Husband.
Combine this with Margot refusing to take her afternoon naps and you get a very grumpy daddy. The only way to get them to sleep is to go on long car drives, which gives me agita because 1) I hate driving; 2) there is only so much of MetroWest Boston to see; and 3) the whole fossil-fuel thing (even though I get around 30+ miles per gallon in me old Saturn. I make an awful Stepford Husband.
9.05.2004
Unemployment Stinks
I just got my unemployment claim denied by the gracious and caring state of Virginia. They claim that I did not explore all possibilities before moving to Massachussetts and voluntarily leaving my job. What, was I suppossed to let my wife move up here by herself with the two kids? What choads. I don't even think it is worth appealing for 170 dollars a week. I have worked nonstop in Virginia for ten years, and have had my unemployment insurance paid on my behalf the whole time. I have been looking for work in my field for three monthes now, and it will probably be another three before I find something decent. I do not want to go back to restaurant work, period. The job opportunities for Slavic Folklorists is sort of non-existent at the moment. Luckily the lovely wife just started a very well-paid job, so the money isn't the issue. I just want to be counted as unemployed! Now I won't even be counted in the official tally. Score one for Cheney.
I just got my unemployment claim denied by the gracious and caring state of Virginia. They claim that I did not explore all possibilities before moving to Massachussetts and voluntarily leaving my job. What, was I suppossed to let my wife move up here by herself with the two kids? What choads. I don't even think it is worth appealing for 170 dollars a week. I have worked nonstop in Virginia for ten years, and have had my unemployment insurance paid on my behalf the whole time. I have been looking for work in my field for three monthes now, and it will probably be another three before I find something decent. I do not want to go back to restaurant work, period. The job opportunities for Slavic Folklorists is sort of non-existent at the moment. Luckily the lovely wife just started a very well-paid job, so the money isn't the issue. I just want to be counted as unemployed! Now I won't even be counted in the official tally. Score one for Cheney.
9.03.2004
Republicans in Strip Clubs
I coulda told you that Republicans, and out-of-town Republicans at that, are bad tippers. The Voice has a blog written by a strip club waitress, and should be read. Here's the blog
I coulda told you that Republicans, and out-of-town Republicans at that, are bad tippers. The Voice has a blog written by a strip club waitress, and should be read. Here's the blog
9.02.2004
Just got done watching Gus Van Sandt's "Elephant." I think my wife is cheesed at me for renting it, she tries to avoide disturbing images, not that I blame her. I thought it was an excellent and thought-provoking film. It reminded me so much of my miserable suburban New York high school experience. I remember watching the Columbine shootings in a bar and just sympathizing (or empathizing) with the shooters a little too much for my comfort. There were a lot of assholes in my high school. But, luckily, I - along with the overwhelming majority of other miserable high school fucks who harboured resentment, anger and hate towards their classmates - had enough common sense not to shoot them. The character Michelle reminded me of many girls I knew in high school, and I was really distraught that she was shot (of course, going into the film the viewer should realize that almost all of the characters will eventually be shot). I remember my friend told me that watching Heather Matarazzo in "Welcome to the Dollhouse" really disturbed her cause she saw her middle school experience mirrored in that film. I should just homeschool my kids.
Awful movie note: Last night we watched "Once Upon a Time in Mexico," (Netflix is awesome, even though they do not have the new Jean Renoir box set by Criterion). Incomprehensible dreck. It goes onto our list of worst movies ever (both my wife and I have to despise the movie). Our list now includes: "Songcatcher," "Big Fish" and "Once Upon a Time in Mexico."
I finally saw Kill Bill and almost creamed myself. The sword fight between Lucy Liu and Uma was unfuckingbelievable.
POOP NEWS: Lucienne, at 5 1/2 months, last night made her first solid bowel movement. Unfortunately, it was in the bathtub during bathtime. My wife called me upstairs from folding the laundry to admire it. It was a beaut - long and skinny and not smushed up in a diaper like Margot's stinkies. I only dropped it once on the way to depositing it to the bowl. (Yes, I used tp to pick it up, Geez. And thank heavens for Clorox wipes, otherwise the EPA would shut down my house for E Coli infestations. Anyone want to visit?)
Awful movie note: Last night we watched "Once Upon a Time in Mexico," (Netflix is awesome, even though they do not have the new Jean Renoir box set by Criterion). Incomprehensible dreck. It goes onto our list of worst movies ever (both my wife and I have to despise the movie). Our list now includes: "Songcatcher," "Big Fish" and "Once Upon a Time in Mexico."
I finally saw Kill Bill and almost creamed myself. The sword fight between Lucy Liu and Uma was unfuckingbelievable.
POOP NEWS: Lucienne, at 5 1/2 months, last night made her first solid bowel movement. Unfortunately, it was in the bathtub during bathtime. My wife called me upstairs from folding the laundry to admire it. It was a beaut - long and skinny and not smushed up in a diaper like Margot's stinkies. I only dropped it once on the way to depositing it to the bowl. (Yes, I used tp to pick it up, Geez. And thank heavens for Clorox wipes, otherwise the EPA would shut down my house for E Coli infestations. Anyone want to visit?)
